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Here are some of the items we will cover this morning:
Feature Story! Horny bra boosts busts
A MIRACLE new smart-bra that BOOSTS a woman's cleavage when she feels sexy is being tested by lingerie designers.
The magic bra detects changes in body temperature brought on by sexual arousement and squeezes boobs together to create a bigger cleavage.
Then when things cool off again the bra's built-in memory relaxes the fabric and the wearer's bust returns to normal, say its Slovenian inventors.
Streets blocked, buildings evacuated, police and fire departments, bomb squad, and Jack Bauer called in to handle unknown explosive device. And by "explosive device" we mean "lampshade".
468-year-old karate master attempts to eliminate bus rider infected with the swine flu, then it gets all nunchucky.
Fearing her probation officer and landlord might not understand, woman moves a dead body from her bathroom out to the hall. Well, what else was she supposed to do?
If you lost your job, Pfizer will give you drugs for free, including Viagra. Because if there's one thing the jobless need, it's potency.